The Diet Bore.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

The Diet Bore.

 


Article Body:

You probably know a diet bore: there's a minimum of one in every office, every group, and at every get-together. It's nearly always female - men reduce too but don't seem to feel an equivalent compulsion to convert the whole world. Blame it on our innate female got to change everyone else.


The diet bore is that the one who knows the caloric count of each morsel you eat, and makes sure you recognize it too. she will expound, at length, on the relative merits of sugar, salt, protein and carbohydrates. She actually knows the difference (and explains it ad nauseum) between mono and unsaturated fats, transfats, and essential fats. She knows what's good for you and what terrible things will happen if you really eat what's on your plate.


She's the one who causes you to cringe during a restaurant as she meticulously quizzes the poor waitress about how everything is ready and cooked. She demands special substitutions and omissions then complains that her meal is bland. She carries salt and sugar substitutes in her tote along side her trusty food value books and a calculator to loudly total the calories and carbs she (and you) has consumed.


She causes more folks to fall of our diets than Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders combined because she makes the entire concept of losing weight so damned boring that we do not want anything to try to to with it.


As we happily gorge on our spaghetti and meat balls (with garlic toast), we will take comfort in noting that the diet bore, despite the breadth of her knowledge and her too public weight control efforts, is usually a touch heavier than she should be.


Maybe she bores herself too?



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