Hannah was distressed that, with all the inner work she had done on herself, she still found herself binge eating.
“There are times once I just can’t stop eating. I feel awful after, but at the time I just want another cookie and another until they're all gone. Or I’ll shall take a couple of bites of frozen dessert out of the carton and find myself unable to prevent until the entire carton is gone. I just don’t get why I’m still doing this! And it seems worse since I married Roger, albeit i actually love him. I just can’t figure this out!”
I asked Hannah to tune into the addicted a part of her and permit that part to talk about why she must refill with food.
“Well, sometimes I just feel so empty and alone inside. I just can’t stand it. The food makes me feel such a lot better. I don’t feel so lonely when I’m eating and filled up. But I don’t get why I feel this manner . I’m not alone. I even have Roger and he loves me.”
“It seems like you would like to eat once you feel alone inside, when your Inner Child - which is your feeling self - feels alone and abandoned inside.”
“Yes,” answered Hannah. “That’s exactly what I feel, but I even have no idea the way to fill that emptiness and aloneness without food. And why do I feel alone inside when I’m not alone outside?”
The problem is that the majority people think that the empty alone feeling is caused by something outside themselves - like not having a partner, feeling rejected by someone, being unhappy at employment or not having enough money. Yet that's never what causes inner emptiness and inner aloneness. it's caused by one thing - not taking loving care of yourself, of your feelings, of the kid within. and that we cannot take loving care of ourselves without having a spiritual source to show to for love, wisdom, guidance and strength.
A spiritual source are often God, a better Power, a guardian spirit , an inner mentor or teacher, a beloved relative who has died, or your own Higher Self. We all need a source of guidance to show to aside from people or our own mind. Our mind is restricted to our storehouse of beliefs, many of which are false or not supportive of who are now are. Our mind cannot guide us in what's truly loving to ourselves. It cannot advise us in what actions support our highest good. So unless we've a source of wisdom to show to, we might not know what to try to to to require loving care of ourselves.
We will not even hospitable this Source until our deep desire is to require loving care of ourselves. As long as we believe it's someone else’s job to fill us up, or that we'll get filled up from work, money, food then on, we'll not take the loving action we'd like to require in our own behalf to require care of our Inner Child and fill ourselves amorously .
The first thing I did with Hannah was to assist her create, in her imagination, a spiritual source for her to show to. once I asked her to try to to this, she immediately imagined her grandfather whom she had dearly loved as a toddler and who had died when she was five. She said she had often felt her grandfather round her , but had never thought to show to him for help. Now, as she imagined him holding her and loving her, she began to cry with the enjoyment of feeling his love for her.
“Hannah, while he's holding you, imagine the kid a part of you that desires to overeat. Imagine that you simply are holding her while your grandfather is holding you. Ask her how you're treating her that causes her to feel so empty and alone.”
Little Hannah: “The thing you usually do this I just hate is you only go along side everything that Roger wants. What he wants and wishes and feels is usually more important to you than i'm . You don’t speak up on behalf of me . Every since we got married, it’s like Roger is meant to form me happy rather than you making me happy. i want you to form me happy by taking care of me rather than taking care of Roger in order that Roger will love us. i want you to like me.” (This didn't begin all directly - this is often a summary of what the Inner Child eventually said to adult Hannah).
As Hannah learned to show to her grandfather for love and guidance and began to require care of herself rather than giving herself up to Roger, her binge eating gradually diminished.